You've Got a Girl at Home
by Holz9364
Summary: 2 years after the war, Harry Potter still hasn't recovered. He attempts to carry on with his life the way people expect him too, becoming the type of person he never wanted to be. Finally something snaps, and after 2 years of drinking and sleeping around he finds an incentive to get back to his old self. Susan/Harry & Draco/Daphne. M for language.
1. You Got a Girl & Everybody Knows That

**You've Got a Girl at Home**

**Chapter 1 – You've Got a Girl at Home and Everybody Knows That**

_**A/N: Hey guys, so I'm still writing 'The 8**__**th**__** Year' but taking a bit of a break from it. I have exams coming up so it will get finished over the summer I promise! Decided I wanted to write some Harry/Susan but it wouldn't have been right to write it into 8**__**th**__** year so I wrote this! It's Harry/Susan, but also Draco/Daphne so I hope you enjoy it! I wrote it as one big story but I'm posting it on here in 7 chapters to make it easier to read through, enjoy! :D**_

_**Fic & chapter title are lyrics from the Taylor Swift song 'Girl at Home' which inspired the fic :D**_

* * *

Harry had expected his life to change after the war. He had expected everything to magically feel better, he had expected all of his pain to just disappear with Voldemort.

The end of the war hadn't changed anything for him, it had changed things for everyone else. They were all safe now, everyone was safe, and almost everyone was happy, but there were a few like Harry who were the same way they had been before, or worse.

Harry felt empty inside, he felt hollow, like he was no longer capable of feeling anything. At least that was how he had felt initially, with Voldemort gone he had nothing to live for. In a sick and twisted way he had always had Voldemort to live for, he knew he had to beat him and bring him down and that was what had kept him going.

Now that Voldemort was gone Harry had lost his purpose, he didn't want to become an Auror, he'd had enough fighting for a lifetime. He hadn't coped well at first, after the initial celebrations he had locked himself away in Grimmauld Place, he didn't even let Ron or Hermione in. He had hoped it would get better after some time alone, but it didn't and no amount of firewhiskey made it better either, he had tried.

When he eventually left the house it was to go and drink some more, he needed something stronger than what had been left in Grimmauld Place. It had been almost a month since the war, and he hadn't left the house, he didn't need too when Kreacher went out and got food and cooked. Harry wanted to avoid people, especially people he knew, so he decided to go to the Hogs Head instead of to the Three Broomsticks, or the Leaky Cauldron. He walked in with his cloak hiding his face and ordered a double shot of firewhiskey which made the person next to him snigger. Harry turned around and recognised the desolate man next to him immediately, he was scruffy and rougher than Harry was used to seeing him, but there was no mistaking Draco Malfoy.

Harry didn't want to see anyone he loved, but for some reason he couldn't explain he didn't mind seeing Draco. He had scoffed and said he could hold his liquor fine, he could now, after so much of it at Grimmauld Place. Somehow they had started talking and somehow it had healed Harry a little.

After that he stopped drinking all day every day, but he couldn't go a day without it, even if it was just one shot or one sip. He got back out into the world, around 4 months after the battle he and Ginny finally managed to fix what had gone wrong. She had turned up on his doorstep one night and Harry had let her in, he poured her a drink and they talked, they talked about the war, about the aftermath, Ginny asked why Harry hadn't come back to her, like he said he would. Harry could only shrug and say that he didn't know how too, he hadn't known how to do anything anymore after the war. Ginny said she understood, but Harry doubted that she really did, they had kissed and it had escalated. Time went on, and so did life, 6 months after the war Ron and Hermione got engaged and everyone started asking when Harry would propose to Ginny. That was what took him over the edge, the smaller amount of firewhiskey each day got bigger, and when he went out with Draco he could drink a ridiculous amount and not feel drunk, it was getting worse.

Harry felt like something was wrong, but how could it be when everyone was telling him how right it was that he was with Ginny. Truthfully, he was fed up with what was right, and so he told Draco the next time he met him in the Hogs Head, which happened often.

That was how it had started, Draco had taken Harry to an underground wizarding club, and as they always did when they were together they drank too much firewhiskey. Harry knew deep down something was wrong, he and Draco both drank firewhiskey with their cereal, that wasn't a normal or right thing to do, but it kept the pain at bay. The two friends ended up leaving that night with a girl each, and they both had somebody waiting at home. For Draco, it was Pansy, and for Harry, it was Ginny. The girls hadn't been anyone in particular that they knew, but it had been the start of what was inevitably a downward spiral for Harry.

Ginny realised something was wrong, as time wore on she moved into Grimmauld Place, and she saw Harry's obsession with firewhiskey. She called it his weapon of choice as if it was a joke, but deep down she was anxious. So were Ron and Hermione, they complained to Harry often enough that he drank too much, but he brushed them off. Ginny never realised that Harry wasn't faithful, she assumed he was out at the Hogs Head whenever he left the house. He always took a girl back to Draco's pad in London, or he went back to her flat. When he got home he always showered to get rid of the smell of women and firewhiskey before Ginny noticed that anything was out of place.

Harry and Draco were out again, in a different underground club in a different city. It had been about almost 2 years since the war, but the wounds were as fresh as they had been 2 months after that final battle at Hogwarts. This had been going on for so long now, Harry had been living a lie for such a long time.

'Why do we do this?' Harry asked, shaking his head in disgust as he did a shot of firewhiskey like it was water.

'The alcohol or the women?' Draco asked sarcastically.

'Both,' Harry said, although he knew the answer to at least one.

'I do it because when I drink I don't feel in pain,' Draco admitted, in one of those rare moments when he shared his true thoughts and feelings with Harry, 'when I drink I can go to bed and not see the people I've killed, I don't hear them screaming.'

'Firewhiskey makes me forget,' Harry said with a deep sigh, 'when I have a drink I'm numb, I don't think about everybody that I failed. I don't see Cedric, or my parents, or Sirius or Remus dying whenever I shut my eyes. I don't feel anything.'

Draco gave a small nod, he seemed surprised, he didn't share often but Harry never shared anything, so this was the first piece of truthful information he got from the boy who lived.

'As for the women, I don't know about you, but I need a thrill, and I don't get it from Pansy,' Draco said, snorting at the thought of his girlfriend. Harry knew that Draco was only with Pansy because his Father wanted a marriage to happen between them since Pansy had wealthy parents. In a sense it was similar to the way Harry was forced with Ginny due to everyone's expectations.

'They don't understand,' Harry said thoughtfully, as he drank deeply, 'the people around you, they think that you're just going to be the same, that you'll just be okay,' he shook his head, 'I'll never be the same person I was before the war.'

'Neither will I,' Draco said honestly, 'and no one understands that, not even my own parents.'

The conversation died there, Harry ordered the next round of drinks and nothing more was said for a moment. The two boys surveyed the room, looking for a girl they found attractive. Draco grinned and Harry followed his line of sight to a gorgeous blonde dancing, he smirked, something he only did around Draco, 'Daphne again? That's the sixth time in the last few months.'

'Hey, I like the best,' Draco said with a wink as he downed his drink and got to his feet, making his way to the blonde girl. Harry shook his head, he was watching someone he knew cheat on his girlfriend, and worst of all, he was cheating on his girlfriend, and his friend, someone who had been his friend for a long time through a lot of shit. The worst part of the whole thing was that Harry didn't even care, he didn't ever think about Ginny when he was out with all of these girls, she never crossed his mind.

Harry watched as Draco approached Daphne, a girl who had been in their year at school, she had been a Slytherin, Harry was certain. He saw another girl dancing with Daphne and vaguely recognised her, but he decided that she was the one he'd go after tonight. She was laughing and looked radiant with glowing red curls and a bright red party dress that showed off her figure. He downed his drink and walked over to the girl, he grinned at her as he approached, 'Hey.'

She gave him a halfhearted smile, 'Hey chosen one,' she said in a teasing sort of way and Harry frowned, he narrowed his eyes at her and when he saw her blue eyes it clicked.

'Susan!'

The redhead grinned, 'Yeah, nice to know you recognised me Harry.'

Harry chuckled at this, Susan had changed a lot since the last time he saw her, 'Well you were covered in blood and mud the last time I saw you.'

He had a secret, he hid behind a smile and a joke, just like Draco had taught him. It wasn't funny that the last time he'd seen her she was covered in blood, that blood was a mixture of hers and the people she loved who had died or been injured. It was proof she had fought for what was right, proof she was scarred like he was.

Something flashed in her eyes and she laughed, but Harry doubted it was real, 'Yeah, I guess I did look different,' she said, and she surveyed his face for a moment, 'but then look at you, I've never seen you look so scruffy.'

Harry smirked, 'Do you like my beard?' he said teasingly, it wasn't really a beard, it was more like stubble, but most of the girls he'd been with said they liked it.

'It kinda suits you,' Susan said with a smile, Harry grinned, 'Thanks, glad you think so. Do you wanna dance?'

'Sure,' Susan said, looking at Harry suspiciously, he wasn't sure why. Susan let him take her hand and lead her over to where Draco and Daphne were now dancing very closely, Daphne was giggling at something Draco had said. Harry rolled his eyes as he started to dance with Susan to some fast paced song he didn't know, before long he had her laughing as he swung her about the dance floor. This was going to be easier than he thought. Harry had been with a lot of girls since he and Draco started these outings, sometimes once a week, most of the time more like 4 times a week, but never anyone he knew, never anyone he'd actually been to school with. It wasn't because he didn't want too, it wasn't even because he thought Ginny might find out, he didn't care about that, in fact he sort of welcomed it. He just didn't feel inclined to that many girls they'd gone to school with, he'd have had Daphne if it wasn't for the fact she thought he was a 'scarheaded skinny git', in her own words.

Harry pulled Susan in as the song changed to a slower number, she didn't expect it and ended up close to his chest, he caught her eye and kissed her, expecting her to be drawn in now. He didn't expect her to pull away after only a few seconds. Harry frowned, looking at the Hufflepuff who seemed vaguely disgusted with him.

'What?' Harry asked, feeling slightly self-conscious.

Susan shook her head in disbelief and walked away from him, he frowned and followed her through the dance floor to the bar. She sat down on the barstool Draco had just occupied and Harry sat down next to her, looking at her expectantly.

'Come on Harry, everybody knows your with Ginny,' Susan said, narrowing her eyes at the boy who lived.

'Nah I'm not, that's just a rumour,' Harry said, this usually worked, even though he'd been with Ginny for nearly two years now. Most people didn't care, they didn't even bring it up.

'Yes you are,' Susan said, seeing right through the lie, 'Hermione and I work together, don't try and tell me your best friend is lying.'

Harry hadn't realised Susan talked to Hermione, let alone worked with her, in school she'd always been a little odd and very out there, but she had never really hung out with anyone apart from her friends in Hufflepuff.

'Well it's complicated with Ginny,' Harry said, trying a new tactic, 'but anyway Susan, I've always had a thing for you, ever since 4th year Herbology.'

'You never even noticed me in 4th year Herbology,' Susan scoffed, not believing a word that Harry was saying.

Ironically it was actually true, 'I did so,' he said, defending himself, 'you wore a different coloured hairband every day, yellow on Monday, blue on Tuesday, green on Wednesday, gold on Thursday and purple on Friday.'

Susan seem surprised at this, she stared at him open mouthed for a moment but then shook her head, 'it was silver on Friday actually,' she said, vaguely smirking.

'Ah come on, close enough. It's proof I noticed you though, isn't it?' Harry asked with a grin.

'Yeah maybe you did in 4th year, but we're not kids anymore, and you're with somebody else,' Susan said, making it clear that was reason enough for her to not go anywhere with Harry that night.

'But I've wanted to kiss you ever since I saw you with the yellow hairband in Herbology,' Harry said, looking at her with a deep look in his eyes, or at least what he thought was one.

Susan shook her head in disbelief, 'I'm not stupid Harry, I'm probably one of many girls you've said that to. What did you tell Daphne, that you've wanted to fuck her since you saw her wear that short skirt to Potions?'

'I didn't tell Daphne anything actually,' Harry lied, because he had tried a similar tactic with Daphne ('but I've liked you ever since I saw you in Potions wearing that green ribbon in your hair', 'I didn't wear a green ribbon Potter, that was my best friend Tracey who died in the war by the way', 'oh').

'Yeah right,' Susan said, drinking from something that was resting on the counter, it wasn't firewhiskey but Harry didn't know what it was either, 'I'm not an exception, I'm just another girl you find attractive that you want in your bed.'

'I do find you attractive, but maybe I just wanted a kiss and a dance, you judge me so much Susan, I'm wounded,' Harry said, mockingly placing his hand on his heart.

Susan looked disgusted with the Gryffindor, 'All you are is a sad, pathetic man who runs around chasing the newest bit of meat while his girlfriend sits up wondering why he isn't with her tonight. She's an amazing person, and you're taking her for granted.'

'She's the one whose obsessed with being with me, her and her family talking about how it's so perfect that I'm going to marry into the bloody Weasley family,' Harry said bitterly, 'what's wrong with going out and having a little fun? Merlin knows I didn't have a stitch of fun in that fucking school, getting hunted by Voldemort every second I was alive.'

'Who the hell are you Harry?' Susan asked, sounding sad, 'where is the guy who helped everyone perfect their shielding charms in 5th year? The guy that tried to help everybody no matter how much worse his situation is? Where is he, huh?'

Harry couldn't formulate a reply at first, Susan's words hurt, and he didn't feel pain, not when he had been drinking as much firewhiskey as he had tonight, but then he swallowed a lump in his throat and said, 'he died in the war.'

'Well that's a pity,' Susan said, picking up her hand bag and standing up, 'because if he had come up to me tonight, single or otherwise, I'd have happily gone home with him.'

'And be grateful that I'm not saying anything to Ginny, you sure as hell don't deserve her,' Susan added on a final note as she swung her bag over her shoulder and left the club.

Harry groaned and looked around, all of a sudden nobody looked attractive and for the first time in a while Harry didn't want to go home with anyone, he wanted to go home alone. He saw Draco sneaking away with Daphne and sighed, walking towards the door that Susan had just left through. Once outside Harry apparated back to Grimmauld Place and walked through the door alone.


	2. This Path is Reckless

**You've Got a Girl at Home**

**Chapter 2 – This Path is Reckless**

_**A/N: Title of this chap is a lyric from the Taylor Swift song, 'Treacherous'.**_

When Harry woke up the next morning he didn't feel groggy at all, he never did after drinking these days, his body was so used to it that it didn't hurt anymore.

He got to his feet and made his way down to the kitchen where he poured some cereal into a bowl and reached for the firewhiskey to pour into the bowl instead of milk, but then he paused.

Susan hadn't gone home with him last night. Why? He was the chosen one, no one had ever turned him down, but she had, so why? What put her off? Apart from the obvious, about Ginny, he hadn't even realised Susan and Ginny were friends, they were in separate houses and separate years, but then they had been in the DA together he supposed.

Maybe she didn't actually like my beard, Harry thought to himself, still holding the firewhiskey halfway to his bowl, he shook his head, nah, everybody loved his beard, it couldn't be that. It could be the glasses, Harry thought to himself, but then he remembered Susan had gone out with a guy with glasses once when they were in 5th year. Harry couldn't fathom the idea then that Susan was repulsed by the way he treated Ginny.

Kreacher appeared in the kitchen and Harry dropped the firewhiskey in shock, it shattered and spilled all over the table.

'Fuck,' Harry mumbled as Kreacher cleaned up the mess quickly.

'Kreacher, if you were a girl and I tried to get you to come home with me, why would you say no?' Harry asked the elf thoughtfully as he held the cereal box in his hand and ate the cereal as it was.

'But Master Harry, Kreacher is not female, Kreacher is not human. Why would Master ask this question?' Kreacher replied, looking very confused.

'Yeah I know you're not female or human, but if you _were_, why?' Harry asked, still unable to grasp why Susan had said no.

'Maybe she does not like the firewhiskey Master Harry,' Kreacher said, looking at the cupboard filled with bottles, 'this is not a healthy habit.'

'Maybe,' Harry said thoughtfully as Kreacher stealthily left the kitchen.

'Well then I'll show her,' Harry said finally, he looked at the open cupboard, 'I won't have one sip of firewhiskey today, and it will be easy.'

The day started off as any other day would, Harry ate his cereal, dry and without firewhiskey and then he did some work on the house and when he finished he really wanted a drink, but he didn't have one. Then he had some lunch and read the prophet, he wasn't sure how but a bottle of firewhiskey had found its way from the cupboard to the table and on autopilot Harry reached out for it, mumbling as he read the paper, 'who writes this shit?'

He got as far as taking the lid off of the firewhiskey, mumbling, 'oh yeah, Draco writes this, explains why it's so shit,' then he remembered his promise to himself and put it down on the table once more. After that it got more difficult to resist and when Kreacher came into the kitchen to serve dinner Harry had to ask his help.

'Ah Kreacher, finally!' Harry said, sighing heavily, this was harder than he thought, he needed help, and who better to ask than the elf, 'Kreacher, I want you to make sure that I don't drink any alcohol for the rest of the day.'

Kreacher frowned, 'But Master Harry likes his firewhiskey, why would he stop drinking it?'

'Because I'm proving a point Kreacher,' Harry said shortly, 'just do whatever you need to make sure I don't drink today, but don't send me to St. Mungo's.'

'Yes Master Harry,' Kreacher said and then he put some sort of spell on the firewhiskey bottle and cupboard and left the kitchen. For the remainder of the night Harry got slapped by Kreacher every single time he touched the bottle or the cupboard containing the bottles. When it got to half past 11 he watched the clock slowly ticking, sweat dripping down his face. Finally the hands met at midnight and Kreacher appeared.

'Does Kreacher still need to stop Master Harry drinking?' The elf asked and Harry shook his head, reaching out for the firewhiskey bottle. He opened it and drained half of the bottle in a few seconds.

The floo whirred and Harry didn't have to wonder who it was, he knew at this time of night it would be Ginny. She walked out of the fireplace and smiled at him, 'Hey,' she said as she kissed him on the cheek and sat down next to him at the table.

'What are you drinking to?' Ginny asked, her way of coping with his drinking was to treat it like it was normal.

'I didn't have a sip to drink all day, so I'm celebrating,' Harry said proudly and he was sure that he saw Ginny grimace. By the time he went to bed later that evening with Ginny, Harry had finished the whole bottle.

* * *

The sun shining in through a gap in the curtains woke Harry the next morning, he glanced at the girl in bed with him. She looked so peaceful when she was asleep, so frail and small, and for the first time a pang of guilt surged through him as he thought of everything he had done to her. He was having some sort of epiphany, he had a problem. He had rewarded himself last night with a drink for not drinking, this wasn't normal, he definitely had a problem.

Ginny stirred and opened a sleepy eye, 'Hey,' she said with a smile, and Harry smiled back, 'Hey,' he said as he kissed her on the cheek.

'You okay?' Ginny asked, propping herself up on her elbow.

Harry shook his head, not meeting her eye for a moment, then he looked at her, 'I have a problem Ginny…my drinking isn't…I have a problem.'

Ginny's eyes lit up, it was as if she'd been waiting for him to admit this for a long time, 'Yeah,' she said softly, 'you do.'

'I can't go on like this anymore,' Harry admitted with a sigh, 'I need help.'

'I know someone perfect,' Ginny said with a smile, she got out of bed quickly and dressed at top speed, 'they specialise in post-traumatic stress, and I think your drinking is because of PTS so I'll arrange an appointment for you, okay?'

Harry nodded, looking longingly at Ginny, he didn't deserve her, Susan had been right, he really didn't deserve her, 'Ginny,' he said, feeling as broken as he sounded, 'can you come with me, to the appointment?'

'Of course I can,' Ginny said with a smile, she leaned down and kissed him, 'Mind if I use the floo?'

Harry shook his head, 'Of course not.'

Ginny hurried down the stairs and Harry fell back against the pillows, the guilt of a year and a half of cheating weighing down on him. In that time Harry had lost track of the amount of people he had slept with, Ginny would never forgive him for that, and Harry didn't expect her too.

Susan was still on Harry's mind, and it wasn't because of what he had tried with her the night before. It was because of the memories it had brought back. Draco joked that Harry didn't have a type, he just liked anything female that moved, but he was wrong. Harry had a type, he had done since about 3rd year, his type was red hair and blue eyes. Ginny almost met that criteria, regardless of anything else about Ginny, that was one thing Harry was sure of, he definitely found her attractive, he thought she was beautiful.

Harry remembered his 4th year, it was when his first crushes really started to develop. There had been Cho of course, but there was someone else he wished he had managed to ask to the Yule Ball and that was Susan. Her red hair and blue eyes had always drawn him in, and for some reason seeing her wearing that yellow hairband had made him find her even more attractive. Harry smiled a little as he remembered, 4th year had been hell, but he loved Monday mornings because he got to see her, she stood across from his bench in Herbology.

Throughout 5th year he noticed her, he noticed how good she was in the DA, but he always watched and noticed from afar, they had never been close friends, not in 6th year either, Harry had shut a lot of people out that year, but he had let Ginny in…His mind strayed as he thought about what would have been his 7th year and inevitably the war, seeing Susan fighting and covered in blood brought back feelings, he was scared for her, and not just in the way he was scared about Dean or Seamus.

Maybe he hadn't really realised it the night before, but he was realising it now. Harry still had feelings for Susan.

A shout from downstairs pulled Harry away from his thoughts, he got up and threw on his clothes from the night before. He made his way into the kitchen where Ginny slid a plate of bacon, eggs and sausages across to him, along with a mug of steaming coffee, 'I set up that appointment for you.'

'Yeah,' Harry said, picking at the food he would usually love, 'when is it?'

'2pm today,' Ginny replied, 'I floo-ed George and said I couldn't make my shift at the shop, I told him I had a hospital appointment with you, I didn't say what it was though, don't worry.'

'You didn't have to do that,' Harry said, feeling guilty immediately, 'I didn't realise you were doing a shift today.'

'It's okay,' Ginny said with a smile, placing her hand on Harry's, 'he said Ron would cover it, he's working double shifts at the moment to save up for the baby so I know he'll appreciate the extra money.'

Harry gave a small nod, and then he went back to picking at his breakfast. He hated hospitals.


	3. Can't Turn Back Now, I'm Haunted

**You've Got a Girl at Home**

**Chapter 3 – Can't Turn Back Now, I'm Haunted**

_**A/N: Title is from the Taylor Swift song 'Haunted'.**_

Harry kept his cloak close to his face as he held Ginny's hand and walked through corridor after corridor in St. Mungo's. After what felt like forever, they reached a small waiting room and thankfully it was empty. They sat down and Harry pulled the hood of the cloak off and sighed, his hands were sweating, but Ginny didn't let go. He wanted a drink badly, it was 2pm and he hadn't had one yet, Ginny had made sure that he didn't before the meeting.

'You okay?' Ginny asked, watching Harry anxiously.

Harry nodded, he wasn't okay, he was nervous, he hated hospitals and he really wanted a fucking drink.

'Mr. Potter please,' a vaguely familiar voice called from the door to the room the waiting room joined onto. Ginny stood up and opened the door for Harry, she followed him into the little office. It was a cosy room, with a desk and three chairs, one behind it and two in front of it.

Harry's eyes widened as he recognised the person behind the desk, 'Susan!'

Susan smiled, 'Did Ginny not tell you it was me you were meeting with?' She asked, acting as though they had never met two nights before.

Harry shook his head and looked to Ginny who seemed just as surprised, 'I didn't even know you guys knew each other.'

'We were in the same year at school,' Harry explained to his girlfriend, 'and I taught her how to do a shield charm in the DA.'

'Saved my life that charm,' Susan said with a smile and Ginny grinned, 'he saved a lot of people's lives with the DA.'

Susan nodded and saw the pain in Harry's eyes before Ginny did, 'Sit down please,' she said kindly to Ginny and Harry who did so. Harry was still shocked, he was trying to understand how Susan could act so normal after what he had tried to do the other night. He supposed she was being professional.

'So, what is the problem?' Susan asked, directing this to Harry.

'Well, I don't have a problem,' Harry lied, 'I just find myself drawn to alcohol.'

'So you're an alcoholic?' Susan asked simply.

'No!' Harry said sharply, 'I'm not an alcoholic.'

'Okay, that's simple then. The meeting is over,' Susan said, about to stand up from her chair and direct him out of the room.

'What?' Harry asked in shock and confusion, 'I thought you were meant to be helping me.'

'I want to help you Harry, but unless you admit you have a problem I can't,' Susan said and it was clear that it was as simple as that.

'Okay, fine,' Harry said, 'I have a bit of problem with alcohol.'

Susan motioned for him to continue and Harry groaned, 'I'm a bit dependent on alcohol.'

'So you're an alcoholic?' Susan asked again, in the same tone as before.

'Yes, I'm a fucking alcoholic,' Harry said bitterly.

'Harry!' Ginny chastised, glaring at her boyfriend, 'don't swear at her, she's trying to help you.'

'I'm sorry Susan,' Harry said apologetically, 'it's complicated…it's difficult…'

'What's difficult?' Susan asked, leaning back in her chair and folding her arms.

'What's _not _difficult about my life?' Harry asked, as bitter as before, but no longer shouting.

'Okay, well let's start from the beginning then,' Susan said calmly.

'Fine, you want to know, I'll tell you,' Harry said, getting riled up, 'I can't go out anywhere without getting spotted by somebody, all I want is a bit of peace and quiet! That's why I stay in the house all day with nothing to do and a cupboard full of alcohol.'

'You don't just drink because you're bored Harry,' Ginny said softly, placing her hand on his arm, 'if she's going to help she needs the real reason, you need to talk about the war.'

Harry sighed and looked down, there was silence for a moment, 'if I'm going to talk about the war Gin I can't talk about it while you're here…there's so much you don't want to hear…'

Ginny nodded, understanding that Harry might bring up Fred, and that wound was still so raw. She got to her feet and kissed him on the cheek, 'I'm just outside if you need me,' she said kindly as she left the office.

The moment the door clicked shut Susan said, 'the office is sound-proofed, she can't hear you.'

'Thank fuck for that,' Harry said miserably.

'When did you start swearing so much by the way?' Susan asked curiously.

'I thought we were here to talk about my drinking, not my language,' Harry drawled, and to Susan he sounded like Draco.

'Okay, then, why do you sound so much like Malfoy?' Susan asked, smiling slightly.

Harry shrugged, 'Fellow drinker, we spend a lot of time together,' he said, changing the subject, 'so you wanted to talk about the war.'

'What are your worst memories of it?' Susan asked, and Harry replied quickly, 'all of it.'

'You're going to have to be more specific than that Harry,' Susan said, feeling sorry for him, but having to be harsh with him.

Harry looked up and caught her eye for the first time since he'd first noticed her, 'You want to know what the worst memories are? Watching Cedric die, watching the life drain out of someone I knew right in front of my fucking eyes. Getting tortured by someone who was supposed to teach me, spending a whole year being treated like shit because everybody believed the shit the paper spewed about me,' the fire in his eyes was burning, 'then I watched people I loved fighting for their lives in the Battle of the Lightning Struck Tower,' he said bitterly, 'I saw the man I loved like family being murdered and then there was you, I saw you nearly die, I saw Greyback going for you and I thought you were dead…' he trailed off a moment, his gaze dropping, 'and I remember throwing a spell back and praying it hit him but I couldn't stop because I had to get to Snape and nobody knew how that felt! People I loved were fighting and dying and I couldn't even fucking stop and help them!'

Harry was short on breath, he didn't dare look up at Susan as his mind continued to drift through the haze of pain that was the war, 'I watched my owl, my only companion throughout my years of torture with my Aunt and Uncle die, I mean they killed my fucking owl! What the hell did she do to them, she was a fucking owl! I was in the middle of a war and then my best friend who was practically my brother just fucked off and left me with a broken hearted girl to deal with and a war to fight, all because he couldn't hack it and he wanted to be back home with his fucking mother! He abandoned me, just like everybody did, like they all eventually will!' Harry was looking at Susan again, the fire in his eyes was brighter than ever but he also looked close to tears.

'I didn't realise how bad a person I was,' Harry said bitterly, 'and then I saw Ron's biggest fear, and it was me stealing the person he loved. He thought that low of me, that I'd do that to him! Then I had to watch my best friend get tortured, I heard her screaming, screaming in agony and there was nothing I could do because I was locked in a fucking basement!' Harry had gotten to his feet and was pacing angrily in front of the desk, 'she needed me and I couldn't help her and I still can't forget her screams or the scars she has!' Harry paused to catch his breath but didn't stop pacing, 'then someone else I loved died, which seems to be a recurring fucking theme. A house elf who was practically a best friend, he was innocent and naïve and he took a knife to the chest for me, FOR ME! He died for me, and I will have to live with that for the rest of my life! I buried him, and he died for me! No one should die for me! But they all did! My parents died for me, my Godfather, a man I considered family! They all fucking died BECAUSE OF ME!'

Susan didn't stop him or speak, she let him continue, she let him get it all out, Harry was breathing heavily now, 'I watched so many die in the final battle, I saw Lavender die, I saw Colin lying there cold as ice, so young and innocent, and Fred, who was practically family, they all died for me and I wish they hadn't. I saw people get hurt, I saw Dean and Seamus nearly die, I saw Ron and Hermione nearly die, I hurt people, I KILLED people! I saw people hurt, I saw them go through hell, I saw you getting tortured and I was fucking helpless because I was under an invisibility cloak and I couldn't give my position away so I fucking watched you screaming in pain, you screamed my name and I didn't do anything! I just watched!'

Harry slowed his pacing down and finally stopped, he shook his head in disgust, 'I drink because when I do I can forget all of that! I don't think about it, I never want to think about it. When I drink I don't feel anything, I feel dead, just like I wish I was! I WISH I WAS DEAD AND EVEYRONE WHO DIED FOR ME WAS ALIVE!'

Susan looked at him with her mouth open in surprise, 'So, when you said all of it, you really meant _all of it_.'

'Well that's why I fucking said it,' Harry spat angrily, he threw himself back down into his chair.

Susan closed her mouth and said, 'I'm not going to belittle you by saying it wasn't your fault, it was. It was your fault, because you decided to fight, you didn't just lay down and let Voldemort take over without any opposition. How much worse do you think it would have been if you'd done nothing? If you _had_ died? How many more people do you think would have been tortured? How many more killed? Think of it this way Harry, Voldemort was in control for one year, imagine if he had been in control for 10 because you hadn't chosen to fight.'

Now it was Harry's turn to stare open-mouthed at Susan.

'What happened to the quiet, shy little Hufflepuff I went to school with?'

Susan's eyes were far away, 'she died in the war,' she said, echoing Harry's words from two nights ago, 'it changed us all you know, but we didn't give up, like you have.'

Susan looked up and caught Harry's eye, 'That's all for today Harry,' she said, and Harry couldn't believe it when he looked down at his watch and saw that the time was almost 3pm.

'I want you to try and spend two days of the next week sober, and I'll do the charms when we meet next week so I'll know if you lie,' Susan said, back to being professional, 'my advice to you is get rid of almost all the alcohol you have in the house, keep one bottle, if you want a drink go out and do it because then you need to make sure you can get home okay.'

Harry nodded and got to his feet, 'Thanks Susan,' he said sincerely, and he reached across to shake her hand. When she took it Harry realised that although they'd known each other since they were kids that was the first time they had touched, apart from in the club, which Harry didn't count considering how much he had been drinking. The shock must have shown on his face because Susan asked if he was okay.

'No,' Harry replied honestly, 'but I might be, sometime.'

Susan gave him a small smile and dropped his hand, 'You will be.'

Harry nodded and made his way towards the door, his hand was on the handle when Susan said, 'Oh and Harry.'

Harry turned around to look at the redhead, she gave him a rueful smile and said, 'it might be easier to stop drinking if you stay away from Malfoy.'

'I'll try,' Harry said, his mind far away, 'but he needs help as much as I do. Thanks again Susan,' he said, and with that he left.

Susan sat back down in her chair, her mind on many things, she smiled a little, in that last moment she had seen a little of the boy she'd gone to school with shining through the haze of pain that had enveloped the man he now was.


	4. You're Smiling, But You're Coming Undone

**You've Got a Girl at Home**

**Chapter 4 – You're Tied Together With a Smile But You're Coming Undone**

**A/N: The title is from the Taylor Swift song 'Tied Together With a Smile'.  
**

After his meeting with Susan the week dragged by for Harry. He managed his two days free of firewhiskey, and although he kept pretending with Ginny that things were fine, the Weasley was beginning to see that the cracks in their relationship weren't entirely related to Harry's drinking problems like she had thought they were. They didn't see each other much that week, Ginny said she was working extra shifts with George at the shop, but Harry knew she was lying. He felt so guilty now that he was sober more often that he couldn't even bear to look at Ginny.

She showed up at 1.30pm on Thursday through the floo, Harry was sipping some coffee and reading the paper when she walked in. She was obviously here on her lunch break from the shop.

'I'm reminding you that you have your second meeting with Susan today,' Ginny said, straight to the point.

'Thanks,' Harry said, barely taking notice of her, he didn't like to look at her anymore, he felt consumed with guilt when he did.

Ginny stood by the table awkwardly for a moment, 'I hope it goes well, I'll see you later then.'

'Yeah, thanks,' Harry said, not looking up from the paper. Ginny sighed and stepped into the floo, with another whirring sound she was gone.

Kreacher tried to get Harry to eat something, but he wasn't hungry, his stomach was churning with nerves and he reached for the firewhiskey bottle, but couldn't drink from it. He knew Susan would smell the firewhiskey on his breath and be disappointed. He sighed, and glanced at the bottle, he'd thrown it all out, like she had asked him too, apart from that one bottle. It didn't have much left in it now, Harry had been drinking a little whenever he needed to sate the urge, to stop the sweating and shivering and shaking. He hadn't been out all week, he hadn't seen Draco since the Tuesday night before when he'd tried to get Susan to come home with him.

Harry got up and put on his heaviest cloak then floo-ed to St. Mungo's, he kept his head down as he made it through the corridors to the quiet, empty little waiting room. He sighed in relief as he lowered his hood and dropped onto a seat. He surveyed the walls for a moment, all with stupid posters saying things like 'Damaged in the war? Need to talk? Call our floo line to take the pressure off,' it was all so cheesy and it made him scoff.

'Mr. Potter please,' Susan's familiar voice called and Harry made his way into the office and sat down heavily in one of the chairs across from her desk. She looked different, her red hair was pulled up into a loose bun and she was wearing glasses.

'You look nice,' Harry said with a smile when he saw her, 'you suit your hair like that.'

'Let's try and keep this meetings professional please Mr. Potter,' Susan said seriously.

'You never call me Mr. Potter,' Harry observed.

'Well, I will unless you act a little more appropriately,' Susan said, she was trying to hide a smile.

'I didn't know you wore glasses,' Harry commented casually.

'Can you keep a secret?'

Harry leaned forward, putting his elbows on the desk, 'Of course,' he said with a grin.

'I don't,' Susan admitted with a smile, 'people treated me like a bimbo when I took this job so I got them to make me look more professional, the lenses are clear.'

'Ah well, you don't need to look professional around me,' Harry said brightly.

'Stop that,' Susan said, watching Harry closely, 'that's another problem.'

'What is? The fact I like to complement you?' Harry asked, feeling a little offended.

'No, the fact you put up a mask of flirting and compliments to hide your pain,' Susan said, she was really good at this job. She changed the subject, 'So, did you manage two days free of alcohol?'

'Yes,' Harry replied simply, 'it was easy.'

'You're lying, aren't you?' Susan asked.

'Yes,' Harry admitted, 'it was the hardest two days of my fucking life.'

'Wow, that hard,' Susan said sarcastically, and this made Harry smile slightly, he liked her sense of humour.

'Well you're next challenge is to do two days again without any alcohol but this time one after the other, 48 hours sober,' Susan explained, and from the way Harry groaned, she could tell that this wasn't going to be easy for him. Harry only nodded.

'We talked about your reasons for drinking last week. This week, since it's connected, we're going to talk about the other problem,' Susan said, she hadn't looked Harry in the eye yet.

'Which is?' Harry asked lazily.

'The fact you flirt with other women, sleep with other women and cheat constantly on your girlfriend who loves you very much,' Susan said, trying to keep the bitterness from her voice.

'And how are they connected?' Harry asked, frowning at the Hufflepuff.

'How have you been feeling since you've been more sober, towards Ginny?' Susan asked.

'Uh, normal,' Harry said, his voice shaking slightly.

'You can't bear to look at her, can you?' Susan asked, once more seeing through Harry and his facades.

'Fine, you're right, I can't, I can't look at her. I feel sick with guilt when I do,' Harry admitted, he hated the fact that Susan made him admit all these things that he didn't want to think about.

'When you're sober you're fine, you're a good person,' Susan said softly, 'but when you drink you become the arrogant bastard that Draco Malfoy was at school. You embody him, because to you that's cool and that's fun and you want to have fun because of all you went through. That is how they are connected.'

'But when I'm sober I hate myself, and when I'm out like that I enjoy myself,' Harry admitted.

'Do you really enjoy yourself? Do you really enjoy being the person that can't bear to look at himself in the mirror every morning?' Susan paused, but Harry didn't fill the gap, so she continued, 'why do you think you hate yourself when you're sober? It's because of what you do when you drink.'

Harry was silent as he thought back to all he'd done to Ginny, and to himself, and even to Ron and Hermione who he was slowly pushing out. He realised that Susan was right, completely, 100% right.

'So what do I do?' Harry asked, completely at a loss of what to do next.

Susan raised an eyebrow at him and Harry sighed, 'apart from stop drinking.'

'First of all, think about all of these women who just want to sleep with you because they think you're the chosen one,' Susan said.

'But, I _am _the chosen one,' Harry interjected jokingly.

Susan didn't seem to find it funny, 'Mr. Potter if you aren't going to take these meetings seriously I'll stop them. There are lots of people suffering from post-traumatic stress and plenty of work for me.'

'Sorry,' Harry said, feeling guilty, 'Healer Bones,' he added, trying to keep the smirk from his face.

'Apology accepted, and I'm a trainee healer. Now Mr. Potter, do try and behave yourself,' Susan said, looking at him in vague amusement.

'Yes ma'am,' Harry said with a mock salute.

'I'm not McGonagall,' Susan said with a very small smile, 'don't call me ma'am.'

'Got ya,' Harry said, the smile on his face was real and he couldn't wipe it off, he felt happier around Susan than he had for a long time.

'Now, getting back on topic. What's wrong with Ginny?' Susan asked, back to being professional.

'There's nothing wrong with Ginny,' Harry sighed, shutting his eyes and groaning, 'she's almost exactly what I always wanted,' he admitted, opening his eyes and looking at Susan, 'smart, funny, courageous. I've always been attracted to redheads, and she's gorgeous, but there's just something missing, something not right.'

'Do you feel like her brother died because of you?' Susan asked, crossing her arms over her chest.

'I don't know, I think that's part of it,' Harry admitted, he did feel guilty for Fred's death and it did change things between he and Ginny, 'but it's not the real reason.'

'So what is the real reason?' Susan asked.

'The expectation,' Harry said with a sigh.

'What expectation?'

'What you've got to realise Susan is that ever since I was born there have been expectations for me. I was the prophecy child, I was expected to stop Voldemort year after year or rescue someone, or save someone else,' Harry sighed, the sigh of an old man, 'and then I was expected to kill Voldemort, and I thought it would be over after that. But it isn't, everyone expects me to live a normal life, they expect me to marry Ginny and have kids with her and I'm so sick of people expecting me to do things! They can take their expectations and shove them up their fucking arses.'

'Well, I understand where you're coming from. That doesn't make it right for you to screw Ginny around, it's not her fault. You need to work out whether you can handle these expectations or not, and if you can't then you need to end your relationship with Ginny before it ruins both of your lives,' Susan said, her voice had changed, it was softer and more gentle now.

'I think over the last week I've finally being realising that,' Harry said honestly.

'Have you decided?' Susan asked, catching Harry's eye.

'No, but I think I will soon,' Harry admitted, sighing heavily.

'If you want a little bit of friendly advice, do it sooner rather than later,' Susan said, feeling incredibly sorry for the broken man in front of her. He should have had help so much sooner than this.

Harry gave her a nod and Susan smiled and stood up, 'We're done for today Harry, I'll see you next week.' Harry nodded and stood too, he shook her hand, like he had the week before and felt a wave of electricity that made him smile.

'See you next week,' Harry said and Susan smiled back, 'Remember the 48 hour alcohol free challenge,' she said, 'and get your blood levels checked on the way out, I'll be looking at those tests to make sure you told me the truth.'

'You believe me though, don't you?' Harry asked, he caught her eye and held her gaze. She merely gave him a small nod and said, 'Yes, I do.'

With this Harry nodded once more and left the office, he got his blood tests done in the waiting room and then pulled his hood up and got out of the hospital as fast as he could.


	5. I'm Sick & Tired of Your Attitude

**You've Got a Girl at Home**

**Chapter 5 – I'm Sick & Tired of Your Attitude**

**A/N: The title is from the Taylor Swift song, 'Tell Me Why'.  
**

The day after Harry's meeting Ginny came back from a double shift, Harry was distant as he told her about the meeting, he told her as much as he could which wasn't much. They sat fairly awkwardly together, neither of them drinking and the conversation stilted. Sometime around midnight Ginny said she was going to bed and left Harry to read a book in the sitting room. He was startled when he heard the door banging open around 2am in the morning. The only people who could get into Grimmauld Place were Ginny, Ron and Hermione. Harry grabbed his wand and hurried to the hallway, pointing it down the dark corridor at a staggering figure.

'Lumos,' Harry said quietly and the bright light shone on the figure.

'Fuck, that's bright,' it mumbled and Harry's jaw dropped.

'Draco! How the hell did you get in my house? How did you even find my house?' Harry asked in disbelief.

'Daphne, works in Magical Transportation,' Draco mumbled, staggering further into the corridor, it was clear he was drunk.

'Well how did you find the password then?' Harry asked as he walked past him to shut the door.

'Wasn't fucking difficult, 'Godric Gryffindor' isn't a very secure password,' Draco said under his breath and Harry rolled his eyes and led his friend into the sitting room.

Harry gasped as he looked at Draco in proper light for the first time. He _was _drunk, Harry could smell the firewhiskey on his breath, but he was also injured. His face and arms were black and blue, one of his eyes was so puffy that it looked like he could barely see out of it and there was dried blood covering his face that seemed to have come from his nose and a deep cut on his cheek.

'What the fuck happened to you?' Harry asked in shock and horror.

'I got beat up,' Draco replied, groaning as he lowered himself onto Harry's couch.

Harry waited for an explanation that didn't come, 'Who the hell did this to you?'

'I'll give you three clues,' Draco mumbled, his eyes shut as he lay on the couch, 'he's got hair like a woman, loves himself and he's a fucking bastard.'

'What, you did this to yourself Draco?' Harry joked and Draco flailed and tried to hit him, 'no, it was my fucking Father.'

'Why did he beat you up?' Harry asked, leaning against the wall with his arms folded.

'I can't remember,' Draco mumbled, 'don't think it was for anything as stupid as what you've been up to though.'

'What's that supposed to mean?' Harry asked, starting to get irritated.

'Well you haven't exactly been subtle about the amount of girls you've been fucking, have you?' Draco asked, his voice getting slightly louder.

'Draco,' Harry hissed, 'Ginny lives here too, remember?'

Draco snorted, 'I know, that's why you take all your girls back to my place, remember?'

'Keep your voice down,' Harry said, glaring warningly at his friend.

'Why?' Draco asked loudly, 'it's not like she's not gonna know soon anyway.'

'And how would she find out? Are you going to tell her?' Harry asked angrily, the rage building up now. Draco flailed out an arm again and Harry grabbed it, pushing him against the couch and saying, 'Well at least I didn't go against my entire family just to fuck some girls all because I didn't like the person I got told to marry.'

Draco glared at Harry threateningly, 'Well at least I've got a family to defy,' he said coldly.

After that it turned into pathetic fist fight, Draco was injured so Harry couldn't exactly fight him properly, he pushed the Slytherin onto the couch and said, 'Whatever, get some sleep, we'll talk about this in the morning,' he glared at him once more and made his way up the staircase to the very top where he slept, in Sirius's old room.

Harry stopped in his tracks when he saw Ginny leaning against the railing with the door to the room they shared ajar.

'How much did you hear?' Harry asked, his voice quiet and scared.

'Enough,' Ginny said, a cold, hard look in her eyes. She then turned around and started to walk down the stairs, then she stopped and turned to face him once more, 'On second thought,' she said and with a swift movement of her arm she punched Harry in the face, 'I'll clear my stuff out on Monday,' Ginny said coldly, 'this, whatever it was, is finished.'

She walked down the stairs and Harry heard the floo in the kitchen whirr. He held his face, blood was pouring from it, he touched his nose, it was broken, _again._

Harry had no choice but to go and find someone to help so he staggered downstairs, glared at Draco's sleeping, snoring figure on his couch and used the floo to fall out of the grate in Hermione's kitchen. This was the flat she shared with her husband, Ron, who would probably hate Harry now because of what he had done to his sister.

'MIOBE!' Harry shouted and in seconds Hermione hurried into the kitchen, wearing a dressing gown and slippers, a small bump visible underneath her gown, she gasped when she saw Harry's face.

'Oh my gosh Harry,' Hermione said, grabbing her wand from her pocket and gently touching his nose which made Harry wince in pain.

'Episki!' Hermione said and Harry cried out in pain as his nose set itself. Hermione grabbed a cloth and dampened it then started to dab away the blood.

'What happened?' Hermione asked softly as she did this.

'Ginny left me, and punched me before she did,' Harry said, the pain significantly lesser now.

'Why?' Hermione asked, she was a healer so Harry knew he was in good hands.

'Well, it's complicated,' Harry said truthfully, nobody knew about the other women.

'Was it the alcohol or the women that drove her away?' Hermione asked, and Harry's jaw dropped. Hermione shook her head, smiling sadly at Harry, 'You're my best friend Harry, despite how much the alcohol changed you, I've known for a long time.'

'And you didn't say anything to Ginny,' Harry said, it showed him once more how loyal she was to him.

'Or Ron, I'd never do that to you. I decided she'd find out the hard way or you'd eventually realise you were only hurting yourself and her,' Hermione said, dabbing the blood again.

'Well, my idiot friend turned up and started shouting about it, Ginny heard, punched me and left,' Harry said miserably, although he didn't know why because surely this was what he had wanted.

'Can you blame her?' Hermione asked honestly and Harry shook his head, 'No, I never deserved her.'

'Before the war I think you did, but afterwards, no, you didn't,' Hermione said, she never lied to Harry, like Susan.

'It was the women by the way, that's why she left me,' Harry said, and Hermione nodded, 'I thought so. I know you've been seeing Susan for the alcohol problem.'

'How'd you know that?' Harry asked, as Hermione placed a numbing charm on his nose and put a small band over it to help it heal.

'We talk on our lunch breaks sometimes, she didn't tell me anything specific, just that she'd seen you a couple of times,' Hermione said, she smiled, she knew about Harry's crush on Susan throughout their school years. Nobody else did, 'is it helping?'

'Yeah,' Harry admitted, 'she's great.'

'She's good at what she does,' Hermione agreed, she finished with Harry's nose, 'good as new, almost. Leave the band on for a week or so, let it all heal up.'

'Thanks Hermione,' Harry said, kissing her on the cheek, 'I don't deserve you.'

'Yes you do,' Hermione said with a smile, 'now, have you thought about how Ron's going to react to this news?'

'How he reacts is the least of my worries. How the Weasley's as a whole react…now that, is a problem,' Harry said, groaning, how could he have let himself get in this position?

'Well I think you should realise Harry that you're probably not going to be invited for Sunday lunch every week anymore,' Hermione said gently, and Harry nodded, 'yeah, I'd worked that one out.'

'Look at what Percy did, and he was welcomed back with open arms. It's not going to be easy for anyone involved, but you have a genuine problem Harry and they'll realise that. You're family to the Weasley's, they aren't going to shun you from their lives. They've already lost one child,' Hermione said softly, her hand on Harry's shoulder.

'Well we'll see. Right now I need to go home and make sure a certain idiot friend hasn't destroyed my house,' Harry said with a deep sigh.

Hermione smiled, 'Probably a good idea to leave before Ron gets back,' she admitted, 'does Draco need any medical care?'

'Do you know everything about my life?' Harry asked, vaguely annoyed but also amused.

'Pretty much,' Hermione said with a smile.

'He's in bad shape, but not because of Ginny. He got beat up by his Father,' Harry said, his thoughts far away, 'but I don't think he needs medical treatment.'

'Give me a moment,' Hermione said and Harry heard her shuffle into the room next door. She returned with a small bag, 'cream for the bruises and a potion to numb the pain,' she explained.

Harry smiled and hugged his best friend, 'Thanks Mione, I'll make sure the git comes to your office and personally apologises.'

'That will be an amusing sight,' Hermione said with a chuckle and Harry grinned, 'I'll see you when I see you.'

'Yeah,' Hermione said with a smile, 'and well done Harry, this is the most sober I've seen you since my wedding.'

'Thanks,' Harry said, with a genuine smile. He stepped into the fireplace and emerged in Grimmauld Place once more. He put the bag of medicine on the table and made his way up the stairs, he fell asleep the second his head hit the pillow.

* * *

When Harry woke up the next morning it was early, the rising sun had woken him up and it hadn't even fully set in the sky yet. He groaned, his face hurt and felt twice the size it should have been. He got up and had a shower and put some clean clothes on. He looked in the mirror after his shower and realised he needed to change. He sighed and shaved off his beard, he put his glasses on and smiled a little, he looked more like the Harry Potter he had been before the war than he had in a long time. His nose _was _twice the size it should have been though. Harry made his way downstairs where Draco was still snoring on his couch, Harry kicked him to wake him up and groggily Draco opened his eyes.

'Take this,' Harry said, throwing Draco a sober up potion that landed on his chest. Draco picked it up, pulled out the cork and swallowed it in one gulp. Harry made his way to the kitchen to fetch Hermione's medical supplies and when he returned he saw Draco staring wide eyed at him.

'Fuck, fuck, FUCK.'

'Would you care to explain each 'fuck'?' Harry asked calmly as he opened the foul smelling cream and put it on Draco's face, covering the nastiest bruises. Draco swiped Harry's hand away and said, 'What is that?'

'It's for the bruises, Hermione gave me it last night,' Harry said, Draco made a face and took the tub from him, 'I'll do it myself.'

'Whatever,' Harry said, 'so, come on explain.'

'Well the first one was me remembering why I got so drunk last night, the second was me remembering why I got beaten up and the third was me remembering you trying to fight me,' Draco explained, wincing as he covered his face in the cream, 'fuck this stuff stinks.'

'So why _did _you get so drunk last night?' Harry asked, sitting on the arm of the couch.

'Well I went out last night and met up with Daphne, as usual, and she decided to give me a bit of a surprise.'

'Do I want to know?' Harry asked in amusement, raising his eyebrow at his friend.

'Apparently…I'm going to be a Father,' Draco said, he seemed stunned by this.

'What? You? Seriously? You got her pregnant? How did you do that?' Harry asked, completely not expecting this.

'Well Potter, when a guy and a girl-' Draco began to say and Harry hit the Slytherin around the back of the head, 'shut up you git, you know what I meant.'

'Considering the fact I've practically been constantly drunk for the last 2 years do you honestly expect me to remember?' Draco asked bitterly.

'Well, I gather you told your Dad and he beat the shit out of you,' Harry said, as Draco began to lather the cream on his arms.

'Yes, that is exactly why he beat the shit out of me. He also kicked me out by the way,' Draco added and Harry rolled his eyes, 'Oh what a shame, you'll have to move into your luxury pad in London.'

'Yeah, he sold it, and my flat in Edinburgh and my villa in Italy,' Draco said, partly bitter, but also fishing for something.

'So, what you're in fact saying is, you have nowhere to live,' Harry said, smirking a little as he realised what Draco was doing.

'Yeah,' Draco said, 'but I can cook…'

'No you can't,' Harry said in amusement, despite the fight the night before.

'I'll clean…'

'No you won't,' Harry said, smirking.

'I'll keep you company?' Draco suggested and Harry chuckled, 'Yeah, that's something I do need especially since you're the reason Ginny left me, and she also gave me a broken nose by the way, thanks for that,' he said, gesturing at his nose which still felt twice its normal size.

'Well she'd know anyway,' Draco said frowning.

'How?' Harry asked, not understanding the Slytherin at all.

Draco frowned more deeply and then realised, 'Oh yeah, I forgot you don't work at the Prophet.'

Harry rolled his eyes at this, 'Correct, what does the prophet have to do with anything?'

'Do you get it delivered?' Draco asked, glancing at the time on a clock on the wall.

Harry nodded and literally a few seconds later a tap on the window in the kitchen alerted Harry to its delivery. He walked into the room, opened the window and let the bird in, he paid it and took the paper, unrolling it as he walked back into the living room.

The headline gave it all away, Draco was right, Ginny would have found out anyway the moment she looked at the paper.

'_**POTTER THE PLAYER'**_

Harry scoffed at the heading, 'Who wrote this?' He asked Draco who was now putting the cream on his legs.

'Who do you think?' Draco asked sarcastically and Harry growled under his breath, 'Skeeter.'

He scanned the article, it named some of Harry's flings, and talked about his ongoing problem with alcohol.

'Sorry for hitting you last night. When you said she'd find out I thought you meant you were going to tell her,' Harry admitted, feeling guilty now.

'I know I'm a Slytherin, but I'm not that shit a friend,' Draco said.

'I know, I'm sorry,' Harry said again, throwing the paper onto the coffee table. He sat down next to Draco on the couch, 'Yes you can stay here, as long as you don't annoy me too much,' he said.

'Thanks,' Draco said with a small smile, 'I appreciate it.'

Harry shrugged, 'So, what you gonna do about Daphne?'

'What is there to do?' Draco asked, he looked at a loss, 'she's keeping it so…' he trailed off and didn't pick his sentence up.

Harry needed to tell Draco that he needed to step up now, that he needed to stop drinking but he didn't, he didn't think it was the right time after all that had happened to Draco the night before.


	6. I See Sparks Fly Whenever You Smile

**You've Got a Girl at Home**

**Chapter 6 – I See Sparks Fly Whenever You Smile**

**A/N: The title is from the Taylor Swift song, 'Sparks Fly'.  
**

Draco and Harry coincided peacefully for the first few days, but problems arose on Wednesday when suddenly there was a bottle of firewhiskey in the house. Harry frowned, he didn't buy it anymore, so it was obviously Draco's.

Harry took his mind away from the bottle and tried to get on with his day, but his mind kept going to that bottle in the kitchen and he ended up taking a swig. He kicked himself for it, and actually hit himself so hard that it hurt. He didn't say anything to Draco that night, but he approached him the next morning.

'Draco, you can't keep alcohol in the house,' Harry said irritably as he ate his cereal dry, he didn't like milk anymore, he hadn't for a while.

'Why not?' Draco asked as he poured his firewhiskey into his cereal, giving Harry a craving for the same thing.

'Because I'm trying to get sober and it's hard enough to resist a drink when it's not staring me right in the face,' Harry said darkly.

'Well just have one then,' Draco said, pushing the bottle towards Harry who turned around and left the room. He stayed away from the kitchen for the rest of the day, determined not to have a drink before his meeting with Susan, it was like an unspoken promise to himself. At 1.30pm Harry made his way into the sitting room where Draco was lounging with a bottle of firewhiskey, 'Come on, I want to show you something,' he said, and confused but intrigued Draco went with Harry to St. Mungo's via the floo. He let Harry drag him through the hospital, both with their hoods up, and when they reached the quiet, empty waiting room Draco pulled his hood off and asked, 'what the fuck are we doing in St. Mungo's?'

'You'll find out in a minute,' Harry said impatiently, that one swig the day before was making him want firewhiskey all the more.

'Mr. Potter please,' Susan's voice called and Harry walked into the room dragging Draco behind him. When they entered the room both boys sat down.

'I hope you don't mind,' Harry said to a surprised Susan, 'but I brought Draco with me today because he's the reason for my first relapse.'

Harry usually noticed things about Susan, little things like the way her hair was, but today he wanted a drink so badly he couldn't pay attention to much.

'Do explain,' Susan said and Harry glared at Draco, 'He got a girl pregnant, so his Dad beat him up and kicked him out, so he's staying with me.'

'Let me guess,' Susan cut in, 'he still drinks and the temptation was too much.'

Harry felt so ashamed as he nodded, 'it was just one swig but-'

'It was a drink,' Susan finished and Harry nodded.

Draco watched the interaction quietly. Susan continued as if he wasn't there.

'Did you manage to stay sober for 48 hours?' Susan asked, Harry nodded.

'And how did you find it?' Susan asked, knowing what the answer would be.

'Horrible, I couldn't stop sweating, I was hot one second and shivering the next,' Harry shook his head, 'it was horrible.'

'When did you do it?'

'Monday, Tuesday,' Harry replied, he hadn't managed to look Susan in the eye yet.

'And you relapsed yesterday?'

'Yeah,' Harry said.

'How did it make you feel?' Susan asked, Draco was still silent as he observed.

'Ashamed, guilty…like…like I had disappointed you,' Harry admitted, looking up and catching her eye.

'Relapses are inevitable Harry, we can't stop them, but we can deal with them,' Susan said and Harry nodded, still feeling guilty for that one swig.

'Now Mr. Malfoy,' Susan said turning to the Slytherin, 'if you are going to live with my client you cannot have alcohol in his house. If you wish to drink that is your choice but go out and do it in a bar.'

Draco gave a small nod, feeling guilty too. He looked at Harry, 'I'm sorry mate,' he said honestly, 'I didn't realise how hard you'd been trying to you know…get sober. That's why you've been avoiding me, isn't it?'

Harry nodded, sharing a glance with Susan, 'I…well I thought you'd be a bad influence on me.'

'You're right, I am,' Draco said, 'you'd never have gotten this bad…the girls that was my fault too…'

Susan watched the interaction between the two men with interest.

Draco turned to face her, 'I think I have a problem…with alcohol.'

'She won't accept that,' Harry said, smiling slightly, 'she won't help you until you say the word.'

'I think I…no, I know... I'm an alcoholic,' Draco said, finally admitting it after years of fiercely denying it.

'Good, admitting you have a problem is the first step to solving it,' Susan said, she smiled at Draco, 'I have a slot available at 4pm on a Wednesday if you'd like to take it. Weekly meetings until I feel you have it under control.'

'Please do it Draco, I don't want to see you spiral into this depression anymore,' Harry said to his friend, 'and she's so good, I've only had two meetings and look at me.'

Draco nodded, to Harry first and then to Susan, 'I'll take the slot.'

Susan smiled and put this in her diary, Draco then thanked her and shook her hand and said he would wait outside for Harry to be done.

'That was unusual,' Susan said, talking about Draco.

'Like I said, he's found out he's going to be a Dad, I think he knows deep down he's got to sober up to do that right,' Harry said, feeling proud of Draco.

Susan nodded, and Harry asked, 'Did you see it in the Prophet?'

'Yes, did they make your choice for you or had it already been made?' Susan asked curiously and Harry shrugged, 'Draco turned up the night before it was published, he was really drunk after finding out about Daphne and after what his Dad did…he sort of blurted it out, but she'd have found out the next day from the paper anyway.'

'Do you feel better, worse or the same?' Susan asked and Harry sighed, 'Better, I don't feel guilty all of the time but I haven't heard from Ron or any of the Weasley's so it feels like a bigger loss than one person.'

'I'm afraid you're going to have deal with the consequences,' Susan said and again Harry nodded, he knew this, but it didn't mean that he had to like it.

'Like this,' Harry joked, pointing at his nose. Susan smiled slightly, 'I remember Ginny being fiery in school, but I thought she had calmed down a little.'

'No,' Harry said, shaking his head, 'quite the opposite actually.'

Susan smiled, but she didn't say anymore.

'So what now?' Harry asked.

'We carry on with the meetings, each week we'll reduce the amount of days you drink by one,' Susan said with a smile, 'and when you make it a whole week without a drink we'll reassess your situation.'

Harry nodded, and Susan said, 'We're done for today Harry, but the next step is 72 hours sober.'

'I think I'll manage,' Harry said as he got to his feet, he managed a small smile towards Susan, 'Thanks Susan, I'll see you next week.'

* * *

As the weeks wore on it got easier, being sober became the norm and drinking didn't seem so important anymore. Draco struggled at first, but as Harry was a few weeks ahead he was able to help his friend out in whatever way he could. Hermione popped around a lot to help out too, and she was also in the know about Daphne seeing as she was the healer who had told her she was pregnant.

Harry still hadn't heard from the Weasley's but Hermione informed him that they were still cooling down. By the time Draco accompanied Daphne on her 3 month scan he had been to 4 meetings with Susan, and he was only drinking 3 days a week, even then the amount he was drinking had reduced significantly. Harry had lowered his limit slowly and was now on his final week. As he approached Thursday he felt excited, as he always did.

His favourite part of the week was his hour with Susan on a Thursday, just like his favourite part of his 4th year week had been her in Herbology with that damn yellow hairband. He grinned as the clock ticked and ticked, getting slowly closer to 2pm. This was his final chance, because it would likely be his final meeting now that he had gone a whole week without touching any firewhiskey. He didn't need Susan anymore, he could do it on his own.

In the sense of his drinking he didn't need Susan, but in other ways he really needed her. She was a friend, much more a friend than someone he went too to talk about his problems. Harry turned up to his meetings with Susan with coffee and cauldron cakes, they talked about life and how things were and laughed together.

Susan was his friend, but she was beautiful. The most beautiful person Harry had ever laid eyes on, she was perfect, her sense of humour matched his perfectly, she was exactly what he wanted, it had just taken him so long to realise. Harry had been trying to get the courage worked up to say something for the last month, but he hadn't managed and he knew that today was his last chance because it was his final meeting with her.

Harry left early, grabbing the coffee and cakes on the way and then sneaking through the hospital corridors with his hood covering his face. He didn't bother sitting down in the waiting room when he arrived, he just knocked on the door and she called, 'Come in!'

Harry walked in and smiled at her, he placed the cakes on the table and handed her a cup of coffee in a cardboard cup. He sat down across from her and looked at her properly for the first time since he had entered the office. Harry grinned, she was wearing a yellow hairband, the yellow hairband that had gotten him through 4th year.

'So, did you do it?' Susan asked, biting into one of the cakes.

Harry nodded, 'An entire week sober,' he said, unable to wipe the grin off of his face.

'Congratulations,' Susan said proudly, 'I think you're free from these meetings now. Although I will have to check up on you once every couple of months.'

Harry gave a small nod, _now, come on, now is the time, say something, go on Harry…_

'Susan, since this is our last proper meeting,' Harry said, swallowing a lump in his throat, 'well, that night at the club…before I…before you fixed me.'

Susan nodded, probably waiting for an apology.

'I meant it, you were right. I was an asshole then who was treating an amazing person really badly,' Harry said, not denying that at all, 'but you were an exception. You always have been.'

Susan seemed speechless so Harry kept going, 'I mean I didn't notice you that much until 3rd year, I guess that was when I started to see girls as girls and not gross things,' he said, making Susan chuckle, 'but I realised then I liked red hair, I always admired you, but you never noticed. I used to try and get paired with you in Herbology, but I never could, we always ended up in a three with Ron or Ernie.'

Susan chuckled and nodded, she remembered that.

'And I couldn't believe how good you were in the DA. Colin gave me his camera to borrow to take pictures of the practice sessions and when he developed them for me over half of the pictures just had you in them, or you were at least the centre of the photograph.'

Susan smiled and reached out a hand, she clasped Harry's tightly, 'You saved me, that spell you said you threw back in our first session, at Greyback. It hit him, if it hadn't… I'd be like Lavender.'

Harry shuddered but was glad all the same that he had done something, helped someone, 'and when you were talking about your worst memories of the war…well Ginny was hardly mentioned, but I was.'

Harry nodded, it was strange seeing Susan unsure of herself, 'I didn't realise it Susan, but I don't have a type. I thought red hair and blue eyes was my 'type'. But I don't have one. It's just you. Before I knew you, I thought you were perfect in every way. Now that I do know you, I _know _it's true, you _are _perfect in every way.'

Susan's smile was wide and genuine, 'I always respected you Harry, and admired you, but I never knew you noticed me.'

'How could I not?' Harry asked with a fond smile as he looked to her hair, 'ever since you wore that yellow hairband to Herbology I've not been able to stop noticing you.'

Susan leaned across the desk to kiss Harry on the cheek, but he moved his head and caught her lips instead. The kiss should have been tentative, but it wasn't. It wasn't a first kiss, not really, but in the sense that meant something, it was. It felt right though, it didn't feel forced or too passionate or lustful, Harry could just melt into it and it felt so right. He smiled into the kiss and was sure that he felt Susan doing the same.

When the kiss broke Harry whispered, 'Thank you Susan, for everything, you were my motivation to get sober.'

Susan frowned as Harry stood up and walked around the desk to be nearer to her, he leant against the wooden desk and said, 'From that first meeting…I knew there was something…something stronger than friendship but I didn't deserve you, not the way I was so I decided to get sober.'

'Remember what I said in the club that night?' Susan asked as she stood up and wrapped her arms around Harry, 'about going home with you happily if you had been the Harry Potter I went to school with?'

Harry nodded, not sure where she was going with this.

'Well now you are that person again,' Susan said, kissing Harry once more.

'That was my goal,' Harry said happily, smiling at the beautiful woman in his arms. The woman who had fixed him, with a little help from Draco, and Hermione.


	7. Epilogue - Best Thing That's Been Mine

**You've Got a Girl at Home**

**Chapter 7 – Epilogue – You Are the Best Thing That's Ever Been Mine**

**A/N: The title is from the Taylor Swift song 'Mine'.  
**

* * *

_**3 YEARS LATER**_

Harry was laughing and smiling, it was the happiest night of his life. By far, the best night, much better than the night of Voldemort's defeat.

He had the most beautiful woman on his arm, and everybody he loved around him. He smiled at Susan, looking radiant in a white dress as he spun her around the dance floor. Daphne and Draco were dancing nearby, while Hermione sat at a table on the sidelines with her own 2 year old daughter and Draco and Daphne's 2 and a half year old son.

Much had changed since those dark years after the war, Harry was finally happy again, ecstatically happy, the way _he_ had expected to be after the war. The Weasley's were all here, apart from Ginny. Hermione had been right, it had taken a few months but forgiveness had been granted. Even Ron and Harry had managed to patch up their relationship, despite all that had happened.

'I love you,' Harry said to his new wife as he pulled her close after a twirl, she grinned, her hair as bright as ever and her blue eyes sparkling, 'I love you too,' she said, kissing him lightly on the cheek as the song ended. She smiled and said she was going to get a drink, Harry went with her to the open bar, he didn't drink at all anymore, and neither did Susan, she had stopped when she moved in with Harry, although having alcohol in the house didn't make him relapse anymore. He was past this stage.

'Harry!' A voice said when they reached the bar and Harry grinned when he recognised, 'Viktor, hey!' he said, shaking the man's hand, 'I wasn't sure if you'd make it or not.'

'The wedding of a fellow Champion,' Krum said with a smile, 'how could I miss it?'

'This is my wife, Susan Potter,' Harry said, grinning at Susan, he loved introducing her like that.

'Pleasure to meet you,' Krum said, shaking her hand politely.

'Let me buy you a drink to celebrate,' Krum said happily, 'firewhiskey, yes?'

Harry shook his head and smiled at his old friend, 'No thanks, haven't touched the stuff for 3 years.'

'Hey good for you,' Krum said, impressed as he tapped Harry on the back. They exchanged a few more words and then Krum left and Susan kissed Harry on the cheek, 'Well done.'

'Hey, I'm well past that now,' Harry said happily, 'who needs alcohol to make me happy when I have you?'

Susan smiled, 'You talk a lot of cheesy nonsense Mr. Potter,' she said, teasing him.

'You still married me, Mrs. Potter,' Harry said, the grin on his face seemed to be glued on, it wasn't shifting.

Harry kissed her once more and ordered her some pumpkin juice, as he handed it to her his eyes went to her hair where a yellow hairband was holding her veil on.

She was perfect.

_**The End **_

_**A/N: Just a little (ish) thing I wrote, all in one night, it took about 7 hours in total so I apologise if it is horrendous! I just wanted to write something a little different and I had great fun writing it, so I hope you all enjoyed reading it! :D**_

_**Peace out,**_

_**Holly xx**_


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